Shouldn't Have Fallen

Katrina Nelson
10-28-08
Writing for Spc. Lex S. Nelson

Shouldn’t Have Fallen

I’ve made this drive so many times before and in so many different ways. Sitting in shotgun, only always after the short wrestling match to win. In the tiny back seat of a rusted out Dodge Spirit, on the floor in the back seat of a Ford Taurus. One time on the move from the city to the country I slept on a mattress piled into a red fifteen-passenger van. Sometimes we took turns sitting on Elm’s lap to steer the wheel. There was always a fight happening, or one that just happened. This drive has been made while passing snow banks as tall as me or dodging rabbits on the road. We’ve driven in the dark, in the middle of the afternoon, during rainstorms, and always with a memory keeper.

But this time was different from the others; this time we should’ve have done it. This time there was no fight for shotgun as I sat in the front sit of a black Bonneville. This time black ice covered the road as Spank drove. This time we followed close behind a dark maroon Jeep that held five of our own. This time a reindeer cause the Jeep to hit black ice. This time the snow-covered banks softened the Jeep as it rolled two times toward the side of the mountain.

As the funeral procession stopped to fuel Cal expressed worries about the black ice on the road. We we’re all exhausted and sad, so we didn’t listen. We should’ve listened. We should’ve stayed the night at some creepy five-room one level motel with a blinking vacancy sign, but that would be too much like a horror film. So we didn’t, but we should’ve.

Before the black ice and before the creepy blinking motel signs we should’ve stayed in Salt Lake and made the drive in the morning, but we all dreaded this drive and wanted it to be over. We should’ve been home wrapping Christmas gifts. We should’ve been home all toasty and warm reading the book of Luke, and recreating the story of Christ’s birth. We should not have had to make this mournful haunting drive that sucked the light out of us each mile marker we passed. We shouldn’t have to live with one more loss, but he fell so we must drive.

He shouldn’t have fallen. He shouldn’t have been part of that war. There shouldn’t have been a war for him to be a part of. Specialist Stones should’ve come home from that desert place where bombs and guns were an everyday. Home to the valley with the Great Lake. Home to his family with his goofy Army issued Birth Control Glasses. He shouldn’t have come home in a box draped with the red white and blue of the stars and stripes.

…….and we shouldn’t have to make this drive.

As I watched the Jeep slid toward the side of the snow-covered mountainside thoughts turned off. I should’ve waited for Spank to bring the car to a complete stop, but I was bare foot and running down the snow bank before he had the Bonneville in park. As I ran through thigh high snow toward the upside down maroon Jeep I should’ve whispered a prayer, but I could only think about how slow I was moving. When I reached the Jeep I pulled open the back door with a force of ten soldiers. I placed my hand on the babies face strapped in the car sit, and I should’ve heard something, but he was silent. My heart should’ve been beating but it was silent. I numbly unfasten the car seat and lifted the baby into my arms. He looked at me blank and wide-eyed. As I ran up the hill away from the Jeep to the road the baby started to cry a soft painless cry. I reach the Bonneville and handed the baby to his brother. Spank was running up the snow bank with brother and sister on each hip. With the small part of the family safe Spank and I went to check on our brother and sister.

They should’ve been hurt. Someone should’ve been hurt. Those were the words that loosely escaped the Highway Patrol Officer’s lips as he came upon this black ice accent.

So we stayed the night in the creepy five-room one level motel up the road. As the sun came up, out shining the blinking vacancy light, I whispered the payer of thanks I should’ve whispered the night before. I whispered a prayer of thanks as I stood looking at the little bodies warm and sleeping in the make out sofa bed.

Elm, our patriarch and father, meet us at the motel to finish the drive that was 21 years in the making. As we finished the funeral procession up the hill to the cemetery miles away from the snow-covered mountainside, and worlds apart from the desert nation at war, to cover his flag draped box with the same earth that covered the light pink box of our mothers, we heard the guns ring from valley peak to valley peak in the air for a soldier that shouldn’t have fallen.

Elm gathered his other little grown up children minus a son, our brother, friend, protector and memory keeper for the drive home that we should’ve have taken.

Fall is in the air....

So with Halloween around the corner I am getting nastolgic for elementry school. you know when you think for months about your perfect Halloween costum for the parade. So this one year my little brother Hank and decided to go as siamese twins. We got a huge t-shirt and tuck our scrawney heads through the top with our pencil stick arms and legs. I am thinking that I will need to search down this photo and post if for humor, but in the meanwile I only get satisfaction of putting my dogs in costumes..

BRUINS FOOTBALL BRINGING IT MONDAY!

Hank Becomes a Canadian

Hank and Emily were in town to visit with me and Ingrid before they move to Canada. We had a nice little picnic at LACMA and listed to some Jazz music. The eclectic group of people at the Friday night Jazz only underlines why I love living in Los Angeles. The next time I will see them they will Canadians!

Elm Retires!

Elm has finaly retired! I can actually recall sitting in my dad's classroom B7 at Granite Park Jr. High as one of his students. He was very charsimatic, disaplined and easy with the students. I know he has made a major impact on many young minds in Salt Lake City. We had a retirement party for him and I have attached a few photos for all to enjoy.

Ingrid, a bike, and a sidewalk ramp

Hello

this week has been very stressful for me. Monday night at 9:00 pm Ingrid called me and asked me to pick her and I quote "I straight rocket launched off my bike from a ramp on the sidewalk". I got there in 5 minutes to find her face bleeding and tears in her big eyes, that so reminded me of Lex. I rush her to the UCLA medical center emergency room where we wait three hours to see a Dr. and get drugs. She had a gash on her chin, a fractured jaw and a fractured right arm. She was admitted to the hospital at 9:00 am the following day. She was released from the hospital yesterday after having her jaw wired shut to heal. Overall Ingrid has been in good spirits over this ordeal. She will be resting at home for the next two weeks and will be on a liquid diet due to her lock jaw! See the photo! Yawza:)

HAPPY 30th TO ME!

Wow I can hardly wrap my head around that I am now out of my twenties. It honestly seems like I just walked in to my first day at Select Personnel in Santa Monica with only server experience to get me the job. Living in Los Angeles the past ten years through my twenties has made a mark on me and I will always look at this time fondly and with inspiration, because wow I sure accomplished many things. I ran a marathon, graduated from college, finally got a cell phone, actually paid and do pay for valet parking, don't sleep in a bunk bed, still have my booty, sunbathing has become a hobby, many free movie screenings, riding public transportation, know my way around a kitchen, yogasize, seen friends become parents, lawyers, Doctors and Professors. Time marches on and as always one thing is consistent, each day we get older and wiser. Here I am at thirty - eat your heart out!

America Idol Fans WAKE UP!

For the third week in a row I am shocked that Sayesha Mercado has NOT been voted off American Idol. I have been waiting patiently for other voting Americans (we all know that a small number of us phone it to 1-866-idols01) to wake up and get the personalityless Sayesha off the stage. I mean Michael Johns was the last person I expected in the bottom three a few weeks ago let alone to be cast off the show so soon. I know he might not have been the one to take the title, but he should have lasted past Sayesha and Cristy Lee Cook.

I plead to those who are not voting to VOTE and VOTE HARD!

Dominican Republic Visit

WOW!

I am sure many of you have heard my experience visiting the Dominican Republic with Hank and Emily. I had a very eye opening experience while on the island and I am so grateful for what I do have and am inspired to give back. Hank could be a race car driver from the way he navigated the roads. There are no traffic laws there and if there are I did not notice anyone following them. Enjoy the photos:)

Big Ballers Bowling!

The BIG BALLERS - BIG E & C BASS The Big Ballers came through with NOT making to the finals due to faulty balls at the lanes. I guess it pays to have your own ball like Kriss and Terry. I will be sure to ask for a bowling ball for my birthday coming up APRIL 26th! hint hint. Great to see family and friends at the Ritz Classic in SLC!

American Idol At Last!

American Idol Season VII opened last night in Philly to an array of characters with issues, problems and some talent. Of course the individuals showcased were strange with a little crazy mizxed in. The ones the judges loved were all from out of town... tomorrow night should be a blast to watch!

Happy New Year!

Well 2008 here I come. I can hardly believe that 2007 is over and I am approaching my 30th birthday this year. For the past year I have been living in a world of self denial when it comes to getting older. Although when one enters into a new year you get a strong urge to reflect upon the past and what you want for the future. I am marinating in the idea of what I want to do, see and accomplish. First thing on the agenda I am looking for my own place to live. I am on a house hunt and will keep you post.

Happy New Year! Greta